Monday, April 17, 2006

Brave new world

Attorneys for the U.S. Attorney's office in Seattle recently secured a warrant that would allow them to seize two defendants' grills following their arrests for drug- and weapons-related crimes, apparently not realizing that these particular grills were permanently bonded to said individuals' teeth. One outside expert was particularly hyperbolic in his condemnation of the government's behavior:
"I've been doing this for over 30 years and I have never heard of anything like this," said Richard J. Troberman, a forfeiture specialist and past president of the Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers. "It sounds like Nazi Germany when they were removing the gold teeth from the bodies, but at least then they waited until they were dead."
Lest he be outdone, the gold-toothed duo's attorney remarked: "It's shocking that this kind of action by the federal government could be sought and accomplished in secret, without anyone being notified. It reminds me of the secret detentions [in terrorist cases]."

The government abandoned its efforts to seize the grills after learning they were not of the retainer variety.