I accept your offer of surrender.

Dear Jonelle,

You have chosen wisely. This was about to go all kinds of places we should probably avoid.

m

Humorous print things

I usually don't get heavy into the McSweeney's features beyond the regular pieces, lists, monologues and Pop Song Correspondences. But the Dinners with Putin feature that first appeared after that unfortunate polonium incident is really really funny.

Also funny: Steve Martin.

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to slap a bitch?

No, it's ok, Sean Connery's got that covered:

A little story about Mo Vaughn...

You woke up today and wondered: Are the comments in Metsblog worth reading?
Apparently, yes:

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: eMailbag: Why Don't You Like the Hall of Fame
by KenDynamo on Tue 09 Jan 2007 04:49 PM EST | Profile | Permanent Link
i once took a class with mo back in the 80's and i remember him always showing up with some sort of buffalo sandwich or buffalo wing salad or something and always a 64 oz cola as well. anyway, he would chow down all day and i would always think to myself, man, the punishment that guy must lay down in the can. so one time he was wolfing down a buffalo burger with blue cheese dressing when i saw him suddenly stop, put the burger down and make a bee line for the hallway. i knew exactly where he was going and decided now was my chance to see this explosive athlete in action. after waiting a few seconds i blatently left class and chased after him, wanting to make sure i found a stall near his. well i tell you he didnt even have time to shut the door before tearing the place up. i've never seen or heard such devestation before in my entire life! it was the probably the most impressive display of bombing ive ever beheld. each day after that whenever mo would enter the room we'd all shout, make way, thunder comin thru! and if you can tell me that after witnessing a catacylsmic event of such magnitude that somehow mo vaugn should not be in the hall of fame, then i say to you, you do not know crap.

Uh-oh

I think some guy named Abu Ali is in trouble.

"A new film of the late immortal martyr, President Saddam Hussein," the web site said in a headline over a link to the video.

Voices could be heard on the video. As the shroud is pulled back, one voice says, "Hurry up, hurry up. I'm going to count from one to four. One, two ... . Hurry up you're going to get us into a catastrophe."

Then another voice, apparently the man taking the pictures, says, "Just one second, just one second, Abu Ali. I'm about finished."

Then a third voice says, "Abu Ali, you take care of this."

I don't usually link Gawker posts (or Deadspin for the matter)...

...but here.

It's Giuliani Time!

So I was reading about how Rudolph Giuliani's lackeys lost a playbook detailing his presidential campaign plans. The playbook contained, among other things, a list of potential campaign liabilities, including his second (crazy) and third (slutty) wives. It made me wonder: Whatever happened to the first Mrs. Giuliani?

Ahh, the internet:

(Giuliani's first marriage was annulled after 14 years when, he says, he discovered he was married to his second cousin.)

Wha-wha-WHAT?
And the second and third ones are the liabilities?
How has more not been made of this? It's one thing to be called an adulterer by your one crazy wife, or to actually commit adultery with your future wife. It's another to marry, and presumably engage in 14 years of sweet, sweet lovin', with your cousin.
Could it be that, in some regions of the country, this might actually be an asset? Make Rudy look more like the, ah, common man? Less like a northeastern moderate elite?
Anyway, the take home message remains: Rudy married his cousin. Pass it on!

Rest in Peace, James Brown

But not until M.C. Hammer boogies at your "funeral."

Gerald Ford, dead today...

Ah yes, here's what I was looking for:

It just goes to show...

Folks searching for Saddem Hussein execution video have now learned what Brooklynites like me have known for years: There's always some dude in the room making a bootleg.

Tacky much, IMDB review summaries?

Yikes:

If the public reacts to We Are Marshall (starring Matthew McConaughey and Matthew Fox) the way many critics have, the film will come crashing down like the plane that carried 75 Marshall University players to their deaths in 1970.