By for now.

New blog project here.

Let heaven and nature sing!

Early trapped in the closet:
http://ifc.com/static/sections/kelly/trapped.html

Relatedly

How did I miss this?

"Oh, shit!"

Get excited.

"White & Nerdy" + Legos = bliss

And, some more classic Sesame Street.

A very good use of "We All Sing With The Same Voice" footage

Fake Sesame Street skit, but I was briefly fooled. Up until the really suicidal bits.

Best Prison Ever, and Other Youtubes

Stephon Marbury's Utter Batshit Craziness Kinda Snuck Up On Me

Food, Folks and Fun

It figures that the first McDonald's commercial I've liked in ten years
1. is for its most disgusting sandwich and
2. has only been on television once when I've been watching.

We Are All Witnesses to Etch-A-Sketch

Remember Animaniacs?

And now, one of the most underrated SNL sketche ever...

SNL Dirty Centaur at a Job Interview

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Dramatic chipmunk!

Original:


New brilliance:

This also went well.

And
and
and
and
and!

This went well, by the way

I want someone to shoot me when I stop finding stuff like this at least a little funny

In which I come around on the Dear Sister meme several months late

In the beginning, there was this from an O.C. finale:

Then, this SNL sketch:

And then came a ridiculous run of takeoffs, with varying degrees of success. Behold:

















And the grand prize:

The Greatest Political Campaign Advertisement of Our or Any Time

And yes, it's real.

In Honor of Pac Man Jones' Latest Strip Club Shooting

Original Mad Dog Russo rant:


New Impressiveness:

More Classic Sesame Street

Politics Today

I was five when the Mets last won the World Series

Darryl has matured. I have not.

Butterfly in the sky...

And now... Run DMC!

We Need to Begin to Start Paying Attention to Ronald Jenkees

Now.

Still slogging through

I am slowly making my way through the blacklog

So I was wrong...

The View? It can actually be rather entertaining:

Dear, Hancock Family,

Deceased though he may be, your son is the bad guy here. I am not sure what this is supposed to accomplish. The towing company? Really?

That's just rough for Aziz.

To answer your question belatedly, Taylor Hicks, yes, in a bit of a surprise, you do make me proud.

With Snoop Dogg.

Queer Eye for the Juggernaut Guy

Oh dear.

Ah, so that's why

Okay, so there are now reasons why "This Is Why I'm Hot" has some redeeming value. (Recall reason one.)

I know they're hate-filled crazy homophobic bigots and everything...

...but don't you at least kinda wish all hate filled crazy homophobic bigots were this, well, catchy? Of course this doesn't excuse what they do, but if the Klan worked the parody a bit more, they'd probably be more formidable.

Even more Alexyss Tylor

And why not?

The Halloween special!

And the official Website is here.

So I pretty much understand women now. Thanks!

Seriously, a contender for the most amazing video I've ever seen on Youtube.

He was the victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.

R.I.P. I've never loved an author as much for as long as I loved Kurt from sophomore year of high school to sophomore year of college.

Almost as funny as what Weird Al did with it

This is adorable:

Too highbrow for this blog? Perhaps

But if any of you enjoyed Prime Suspect, you'll enjoy this:

I am now even more excited about this than I already was

Only days to go.

I'll be honest, the "probably titties" line would've been enough to get this on here.

The razor sharp execution on otherwise predictable Pacman Jones humor is just icing on the cake:

Mmmmmm.... sacrilicious.

Bad idea by these guys. But they do have talent.

It hasn't been the best of years for Kermit the Frog...

* Like Jonelle, I am stunned that there is a Godtube:


* Most Sesame Street or Muppets doing bad things parodies I've seen fall flat. But this one works on so many levels... Oh my, the bit with Rowlfe...


* And now, for no reason, the first episode of Shining Time Station:

That Mustache Feeling

Goulet Goulet Goulet!

They're all here! All of them!

God bless the Internet!

I accept your offer of surrender.

Dear Jonelle,

You have chosen wisely. This was about to go all kinds of places we should probably avoid.

m

It's time to take things up a notch

Dear Jonelle,

Good effort there with the whole British comedy thing. Commendable.
Now, watch the master:

Yes, you can suck on it.

Dear Jonelle,
Fine. Here. And, as a bonus:

Oh snap,
m

If you don't remember Ghostwriter...

...then you can't possibly appreciate the brilliance of this. The Stoop Dude cameo is genius.

"This is Why I'm Hot" Sucks

But "This is Why Duke Sucks" is hot.

Three or so moments launch this into A+ territory

Been away for a while. Sorry.

Catching up quickly:
* Yes, everyone, I am aware of this and I am excited.
* I've seen this guy on the subway before:

* The Yankees loss to Detroit in the playoffs last year produced 10 of my favorite Mike and the Mad Dog minutes ever. Dog's exuberance is memorable:

* This very first take of Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" with Donnie Osmond might actually be funnier than the finished product:

Humor has a liberal bias

So conservatives are going to try to put together a right-leaning Daily Show. Yeah, that'll work:

This McSweeney's piece on why there aren't many right-wind observational comedians is instructive:

The other night my wife and I are watching Hannity & Colmes, and she goes, "I'm cold—let's turn up the heat." So I say, "Just put on a sweater." And she gives me this look that's like, No missionary sex in the marital interest of procreation for you! And I'm thinking, "Man, if only the pansy liberals let the military flex a little more muscle in the Middle East and force an effective European coalition, we might be able to dissolve the OPEC terrorists, gain some leverage over oil prices, and avert domestic crises like this." The fellas know what I mean!

My wife complains like it's her job. About out-of-control government spending and affirmative action. And I totally agree with her. She's a spokeswoman for Rick Santorum.

Whose Balls Are They Anyway?

Easily the best episode of "Whose Line" ever breaks out after a skit suggestion concerning Bill Cosby and Adolf Hitler as roommates is unfairly nixed by producers.

"Mr. Fucking Belding Just Told Me To Shut The Fuck Up, Man!"

Belding. Romo. Concert. Journey.

We live in amazing times.

That about wraps it up for Carlos Mencia...

Joe Rogan, Avenging Angel:

The Best Commercials On Television

You're welcome.

Dick in a Box Live: Of course it is.

The inevitable has happened.

Yes, I vote for this to replace the "Electric Slide"

This surprised me midway through, turning into something awesome.

This is one of the most romantic things I have ever seen. I wish them a wonderful life together. Seriously.

Failure to launch

Astronauts can be crazy bitches, too:

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — An astronaut drove from Houston to Florida, donned a disguise and confronted a woman she believed was romantically involved with a space shuttle pilot she was in love with, police said. She was charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.
U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail.
Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport — wearing diapers so she wouldn’t have to stop to urinate — to confront Colleen Shipman.
Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery’s trip to the space station last December, police said.
Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was “more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship,” according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.
NASA spokesman James Hartsfield in Houston said that, as of Monday, Nowak’s status with the astronaut corps remained unchanged.
“What will happen beyond that, I will not speculate,” he said.
Hartsfield said he couldn’t recall the last time an astronaut was arrested and said there were no rules against fraternizing among astronauts.
When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak drove the 900-mile trip from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers, police said.
Astronauts wear diapers during launch and re-entry.
Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.
Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman’s car, the affidavit said.
Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.

Gentlemen, start your Leno.

Ninja Turtles III? Yes, it did suck

Brilliant.

Things that piss Shredder off

I love everything about this. Ninja Turtles footage, and the one-hit wonder "Funk That!" The first part with the flyers: very well done.

Also

Because no one else on the Internet seems to have documented it, I just want to note that I know Ernie Anastos farted during the Fox 5 newscast a couple nights ago. And I have the video saved.

The Retarded

Thank God I live in New York, where people know how to cope with humorous events.

The ring is the thing

I just found this ESPN.com feature to be one of the more interesting bits of filler in the too-long period before the Super Bowl.

Insecure much?

Just who is Banco Popular trying to convince, really?

Assraelis!

Very little comment, except that this is hilarious.

Humorous print things

I usually don't get heavy into the McSweeney's features beyond the regular pieces, lists, monologues and Pop Song Correspondences. But the Dinners with Putin feature that first appeared after that unfortunate polonium incident is really really funny.

Also funny: Steve Martin.

But was it nuclear?

Last night, President Bush delivered his 2007 State of the Union Address. (Dikembe Mutombo was somehow involved; the rest is a blur). The New York Times website has a neat little feature up now where you can search President Bush's past SOTU speeches by word. This, like most useful technical innovations, can only prove to be a big mistake. For example, 2005 was apparently a pretty significant year for the nation's ass (click to enlarge):

That's pretty much how I remember it, too.

Mr. Rogers speaks to the Senate

There was no one in the world quite like this gentle man. It is a good feeling to know he was alive.

Our long Richard Karn-related national nightmare is over

Ah, Family Feud, will your seemingly endless river of comedy ever run dry? Not in new the John O'Hurley era, it seems. Category was "Name a way to make bathing a sexy experience," which was asking for trouble in the first place. But not this kind of trouble:

No mere mortal can resist

I've often raved about the awesome Lego version of Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Now, something even better: A split-screen (of the best chunk) with the original so you can fully appreciate the genius:

Compare, contrast

Original 1992 NBC 4 Channel News promo that still kinda makes me tear up:


Random parody I just found:



I think the parody is funny, but mostly because Frazier falling with any musical accompaniment is funny.

Other countries have inferior potassium...

This deserves to be linked, even days later. Take it away, Golden Globe winner Borat:

I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. And I just want to say this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America. An ugly side of America. A side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star Ken Davitian. Ken, as I...when I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, 'I'd better win a bloody award for this.' And then when my 300 pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today.

BoHe-Man Rhapsody

Of course.

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to slap a bitch?

No, it's ok, Sean Connery's got that covered:

"Because this..." (puts shades on) "Is what you call 'acting.'"

My favorite TV shows are now:
3. 24
2. The Sopranos
1. The first three minutes of "CSI: Miami"

The 2006 Mets Continue to Fill my Life With Joy

One Reason Why "Sin City" is One of My Ten Favorite Movies

Absolute respect for and faithfulness to the source material, the rewards of which are evident even to even those unfamiliar with the original stuff.

Fascinating stuff about Ollie Perez

You should read this even if you don't care about Ollie or the Mets. That this analysis can exist is one of the reasons I love baseball.

Not a sexist impulse, mind you

But this helps me understand why some people really want to have boys.
2,800+.

"Have you seen my football?"

Very little comment here, except that there is a little bit of this guy in all of us, but not so much that the continued existence of the species is in jeopardy.

A little story about Mo Vaughn...

You woke up today and wondered: Are the comments in Metsblog worth reading?
Apparently, yes:

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: eMailbag: Why Don't You Like the Hall of Fame
by KenDynamo on Tue 09 Jan 2007 04:49 PM EST | Profile | Permanent Link
i once took a class with mo back in the 80's and i remember him always showing up with some sort of buffalo sandwich or buffalo wing salad or something and always a 64 oz cola as well. anyway, he would chow down all day and i would always think to myself, man, the punishment that guy must lay down in the can. so one time he was wolfing down a buffalo burger with blue cheese dressing when i saw him suddenly stop, put the burger down and make a bee line for the hallway. i knew exactly where he was going and decided now was my chance to see this explosive athlete in action. after waiting a few seconds i blatently left class and chased after him, wanting to make sure i found a stall near his. well i tell you he didnt even have time to shut the door before tearing the place up. i've never seen or heard such devestation before in my entire life! it was the probably the most impressive display of bombing ive ever beheld. each day after that whenever mo would enter the room we'd all shout, make way, thunder comin thru! and if you can tell me that after witnessing a catacylsmic event of such magnitude that somehow mo vaugn should not be in the hall of fame, then i say to you, you do not know crap.

Uh-oh

I think some guy named Abu Ali is in trouble.

"A new film of the late immortal martyr, President Saddam Hussein," the web site said in a headline over a link to the video.

Voices could be heard on the video. As the shroud is pulled back, one voice says, "Hurry up, hurry up. I'm going to count from one to four. One, two ... . Hurry up you're going to get us into a catastrophe."

Then another voice, apparently the man taking the pictures, says, "Just one second, just one second, Abu Ali. I'm about finished."

Then a third voice says, "Abu Ali, you take care of this."

Does This Work?

It kinda does, especially considering most women won't ever live to be this funny.* So long as it's not compared to the absurd greatness of the original. This could be the American The Office of viral videos. Well, no, not quite. But a solid B.
*This was intended as a bait for one person. Ease up, gang. There are much funnier women than this. Many who aren't Sarah Silverman or my sister.

And now, a random fact about Johnny Mathis

Johnny Mathis was a University of San Francisco basketball teammate of Bill Russell, and broke his friend's high jump record. This is seriously true.

The Best Name Said During Ken Burns' "The Civil War"

"George Templeton Strong." Said perfectly. Said often.

I don't usually link Gawker posts (or Deadspin for the matter)...

...but here.

It's Giuliani Time!

So I was reading about how Rudolph Giuliani's lackeys lost a playbook detailing his presidential campaign plans. The playbook contained, among other things, a list of potential campaign liabilities, including his second (crazy) and third (slutty) wives. It made me wonder: Whatever happened to the first Mrs. Giuliani?

Ahh, the internet:

(Giuliani's first marriage was annulled after 14 years when, he says, he discovered he was married to his second cousin.)

Wha-wha-WHAT?
And the second and third ones are the liabilities?
How has more not been made of this? It's one thing to be called an adulterer by your one crazy wife, or to actually commit adultery with your future wife. It's another to marry, and presumably engage in 14 years of sweet, sweet lovin', with your cousin.
Could it be that, in some regions of the country, this might actually be an asset? Make Rudy look more like the, ah, common man? Less like a northeastern moderate elite?
Anyway, the take home message remains: Rudy married his cousin. Pass it on!

Rest in Peace, James Brown

But not until M.C. Hammer boogies at your "funeral."