Ohmygodohmygodohmygod...

Why did we trade him? What a tremendous team building exercise this could have been!

Sexpot Anna Benson and her ex-Met hubby are headed for Splitsville after she caught him fooling around with one of her friends, the Daily News has learned.
The naughtiest wife in baseball filed for divorce yesterday from pitcher Kris Benson, who was traded in the off-season from the Mets to the Baltimore Orioles.

"She's completely crushed; she didn't see this coming," said Anna Benson's spokesman, Jules Feiler. "She had no choice but to take this action."

What's bad for Kris Benson could be good for new teammates Miguel Tejada, Melvin Mora and the rest of the O's.

Anna Benson once vowed to sleep with every one of her husband's teammates if she caught him in the sack with another woman.

"I told him, 'Cheat on me all you want.' If you get caught, I'm going to [have sex with] everybody on your entire team," she told Howard Stern on his radio show in 2004. "Everyone would get a turn."

But Anna Benson's spokesman warned the Orioles not to get their hopes up. "I think she was joking," Feiler said.

Nice Try, Anna Benson

I'm going on record now: This divorce report smells like a hoax.

Alabama leprechaun

Very little comment here, except AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:

VD cartoon!

Disney on Venereal Disease in the 50s. Best cartoon ever?

Festival of Shame

For all you fans of Arnold Diaz's "Shame On You" reports on WCBS 2-NY: Arnold has up and moved to Fox 5. "Shame on you" has been replaced by "Shame Shame Shame," with a corresponding new theme song.
And Diaz makes a conscious effort to say "shame" more.

a rare episode of "mb draws the line"

Wow. No. Tempting--actually, really tempting--but no.

Am I right folks?

This sounds like the setup for a tremendous bit of jihad-related stand-up comedy, but I am having difficulty coming up with the punch line:

Mr. Moussaoui said there were times when a Muslim can lie without being immoral: to reconcile Muslims, to answer "yes" when a wife asks, "Am I beautiful?" and to carry out jihad.

Anybody come up with anything?

In the end, it's a guy juggling and it's the Beatles.

Marvel.

The dangers of overthinking things

Everyone makes mistakes, Sports Illustrated:

While we're tweaking SI: the magazine ran an embarrassing NBA item a few weeks ago. Entitled "True Gauge," it announced: "Want to separate contenders from pretenders? NBA coaches and executives do so by looking at what is key come the playoffs: the ability to protect home court and to win on the road. Subtract home losses from road wins, and you'll find these teams on top." What follows is a list of the teams with the best differential between home wins and road losses; stunningly, these teams are the Pistons, Spurs, Mavericks, Heat, and Suns—the same teams that have the best records in the league. You see, teams play the same number of home and road games, so the difference between home wins and road losses tells you nothing the league standings don't. And yes, a won-and-loss record is a "true gauge" of an NBA team, and it's important to both win at home and on the road; or, you might also say, to win games. Also key, therefore, is to score more points than your opponent; look out for a chart revealing that insight on a newsstand near you.

Usually, I'm a pretty arrogant New Yorker...

...but even I must occasionally admit when the rest of the country's ahead of our game.

March 25, 2006 -- SAY goodbye to "The Tony Danza Show." Danza told his viewers yesterday to "enjoy the rest of the run . . . We are going to finish real strong and enjoy what we have left."
"Danza" performs strongly in New York, but never caught on nationwide, despite getting a timeslot upgrade this season in L.A.

A lot of 80s and 90s television.

Wow. All right. Enjoy.

And now, something genuinely educational

...if still pointless. Where do these guys get the time? Michael Jackson's connection to Sega and Sonic the Hedgehog, revealed!

E.W.A. - Gangsta Gangsta

Not as good as it could've been, but parts of this are excellent.

Mortal Peep Fight

Would I hate these people if I met them in real life?

Probably.

But this is still funny.

Another Snakes on a Plane item?

Yes. But this is all you need to know:

In any event, "Snakes"-ophiles already were hard at work. Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created an elaborate, R-rated audio trailer that lovingly mocks the title and movie. "It's a genius title," Rohan said. "It's so stupid it's great. It invites satire, but it's something you just love. It's something I can't explain. You either get it or you don't."

The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

This movie could change the industry forever.

Two, maybe three people will find this funny

I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!

Oh my. Sure, it deteriorates after the amazing first few minutes, but...

Dear Sport of Women's Basketball,

I don't know what game you saw, but only one of these even came close to actually being a "dunk."

Sorry.

-mb

Official Snakes on a Plane teaser trailer?!?!?!

The midget I saw a couple months ago

Back in January, I went to NY for a couple days and saw a midget impersonate Michael Jackson in Times Square station. I took some pictures, but my camera isn't very good. Thanks, these guys, for getting it right.