Norm MacDonald: An Appreciation

He remains consistently the best talk show guest out there, just ahead of Bruce Willis:

You should also buy his album. It succeeds in making Molly Shannon funny few a few minutes, which is amazing, and the fourth track is one of the funniest things I have ever heard.

Top One Letterman Top Ten Lists I've Seen In Forever

1. This one.

Michelle Malkin, Skank

Tee-hee.

Riffs of Reilly

...Is terrible. No one from SI.com, Sports Illustrated or Rick Reilly Inc will read this, but it needs to be said anyway.

Oh, this takes me back...

...wow.

Screech porn

Unfortunately, it's exactly what it sounds like.

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

"Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

Nancy Grace, Plagiarist

This, on top of everything else.

From suck to blow?

I don't think this is necessarily a good idea.

The new Elmo doll scares the crap out of a dog.

Kenan Lives!

Looka like they got it right after all. Bye bye, Finesse Mitchell.

Nancy Grace, murderer?

I am thoroughly unsurprised.

Not cool.

Humans, the cycle of violence must end with you.

Prospect Lefferts Gardens / Lefferts Manor: It exists

"Where in Brooklyn are you from? ...Huh?"

Naming my neighborhood often prompts confusion, not only on the part of my friends who recently got to NY from Harvard, but also longtime Brooklynites.

The Internet offers hope: Dammit, we exist.

Read and learn.

Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney's Book of Lists

Pros: Contains four of my lists, including two previously unreleased on the McSweeney's website. Also, 300 or so lists by other people that are also pretty funny.

Cons: One (Update: Two) of those lists contains a typo of sorts, most definitely not my fault. Another has been edited down some, although that probably turned out for the best. The cover, tongue in cheek (do covers have tongues?) looks like an eight-year-old girl's wallpaper. Back cover isn't much better. Also, they haven't paid me yet.

Verdict: The best book ever, until there is a book written completely by me. Buy it immediately!

Alright, I'll weigh in...

Without the ability to switch off the instant publications of your every action, the new Facebook features suck.

The Easter Bunny Hates You was a corporate creation!

I'm actually a little disappointed.

Though when it first appeared NBC had tried to stop it, "Lazy Sunday" ended up a true viral video - a clip that spreads from user to user on the Internet, like a virus. Eventually it could be seen free on NBC.com and iTunes as well as YouTube.

"I think 6 or 7 million people downloaded it when it was circulated in various places," said Beth Comstock, president of digital media and market development for NBC.

After that, she said, "we took our studio to task and said, `What can you create?'"

The result was "The Easter Bunny Hates You," in which a guy in a rented costume beats the stuffing out of everyone in sight.

"Five million people streamed the video or downloaded it in some fashion," said Comstock. "And if you consider that in a cable rating, that's a pretty amazing audience that in just two weeks something that was not even branded NBC reached an audience."

And it was purposely not branded NBC.

"Because it was a bit experimental, because it was viral, we thought it would be best to try it without any sort of branding," she said. "Because it's a bit more authentic right now."

Ugh.

Recall:

Vote Springer in '80

Are there ever anti-climactic deaths involving animals?

Yes. Rest in peace.

Life update

I am rich (not mentioned directly but affected nonetheless) and famous (actually quoted, so to speak, in the extended editorial reviews section for some reason).