Sunday, January 28, 2007

Insecure much?

Just who is Banco Popular trying to convince, really?

Thursday, January 25, 2007


Very little comment, except that this is hilarious.

Humorous print things

I usually don't get heavy into the McSweeney's features beyond the regular pieces, lists, monologues and Pop Song Correspondences. But the Dinners with Putin feature that first appeared after that unfortunate polonium incident is really really funny.

Also funny: Steve Martin.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

But was it nuclear?

Last night, President Bush delivered his 2007 State of the Union Address. (Dikembe Mutombo was somehow involved; the rest is a blur). The New York Times website has a neat little feature up now where you can search President Bush's past SOTU speeches by word. This, like most useful technical innovations, can only prove to be a big mistake. For example, 2005 was apparently a pretty significant year for the nation's ass (click to enlarge):

That's pretty much how I remember it, too.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Mr. Rogers speaks to the Senate

There was no one in the world quite like this gentle man. It is a good feeling to know he was alive.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Our long Richard Karn-related national nightmare is over

Ah, Family Feud, will your seemingly endless river of comedy ever run dry? Not in new the John O'Hurley era, it seems. Category was "Name a way to make bathing a sexy experience," which was asking for trouble in the first place. But not this kind of trouble:

No mere mortal can resist

I've often raved about the awesome Lego version of Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Now, something even better: A split-screen (of the best chunk) with the original so you can fully appreciate the genius:

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Compare, contrast

Original 1992 NBC 4 Channel News promo that still kinda makes me tear up:

Random parody I just found:

I think the parody is funny, but mostly because Frazier falling with any musical accompaniment is funny.

Other countries have inferior potassium...

This deserves to be linked, even days later. Take it away, Golden Globe winner Borat:
I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. And I just want to say this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America. An ugly side of America. A side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star Ken Davitian. Ken, as I...when I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, 'I'd better win a bloody award for this.' And then when my 300 pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today.

Monday, January 15, 2007

BoHe-Man Rhapsody

Of course.

Is Wayne Brady gonna have to slap a bitch?

No, it's ok, Sean Connery's got that covered:

Sunday, January 14, 2007

"Because this..." (puts shades on) "Is what you call 'acting.'"

My favorite TV shows are now:
3. 24
2. The Sopranos
1. The first three minutes of "CSI: Miami"

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Fascinating stuff about Ollie Perez

You should read this even if you don't care about Ollie or the Mets. That this analysis can exist is one of the reasons I love baseball.

Not a sexist impulse, mind you

But this helps me understand why some people really want to have boys.

"Have you seen my football?"

Very little comment here, except that there is a little bit of this guy in all of us, but not so much that the continued existence of the species is in jeopardy.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

A little story about Mo Vaughn...

You woke up today and wondered: Are the comments in Metsblog worth reading?
Apparently, yes:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: eMailbag: Why Don't You Like the Hall of Fame
by KenDynamo on Tue 09 Jan 2007 04:49 PM EST | Profile | Permanent Link
i once took a class with mo back in the 80's and i remember him always showing up with some sort of buffalo sandwich or buffalo wing salad or something and always a 64 oz cola as well. anyway, he would chow down all day and i would always think to myself, man, the punishment that guy must lay down in the can. so one time he was wolfing down a buffalo burger with blue cheese dressing when i saw him suddenly stop, put the burger down and make a bee line for the hallway. i knew exactly where he was going and decided now was my chance to see this explosive athlete in action. after waiting a few seconds i blatently left class and chased after him, wanting to make sure i found a stall near his. well i tell you he didnt even have time to shut the door before tearing the place up. i've never seen or heard such devestation before in my entire life! it was the probably the most impressive display of bombing ive ever beheld. each day after that whenever mo would enter the room we'd all shout, make way, thunder comin thru! and if you can tell me that after witnessing a catacylsmic event of such magnitude that somehow mo vaugn should not be in the hall of fame, then i say to you, you do not know crap.


I think some guy named Abu Ali is in trouble.
"A new film of the late immortal martyr, President Saddam Hussein," the web site said in a headline over a link to the video.

Voices could be heard on the video. As the shroud is pulled back, one voice says, "Hurry up, hurry up. I'm going to count from one to four. One, two ... . Hurry up you're going to get us into a catastrophe."

Then another voice, apparently the man taking the pictures, says, "Just one second, just one second, Abu Ali. I'm about finished."

Then a third voice says, "Abu Ali, you take care of this."

Does This Work?

It kinda does, especially considering most women won't ever live to be this funny.* So long as it's not compared to the absurd greatness of the original. This could be the American The Office of viral videos. Well, no, not quite. But a solid B.
*This was intended as a bait for one person. Ease up, gang. There are much funnier women than this. Many who aren't Sarah Silverman or my sister.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

And now, a random fact about Johnny Mathis

Johnny Mathis was a University of San Francisco basketball teammate of Bill Russell, and broke his friend's high jump record. This is seriously true.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The Best Name Said During Ken Burns' "The Civil War"

"George Templeton Strong." Said perfectly. Said often.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

It's Giuliani Time!

So I was reading about how Rudolph Giuliani's lackeys lost a playbook detailing his presidential campaign plans. The playbook contained, among other things, a list of potential campaign liabilities, including his second (crazy) and third (slutty) wives. It made me wonder: Whatever happened to the first Mrs. Giuliani?

Ahh, the internet:
(Giuliani's first marriage was annulled after 14 years when, he says, he discovered he was married to his second cousin.)

And the second and third ones are the liabilities?
How has more not been made of this? It's one thing to be called an adulterer by your one crazy wife, or to actually commit adultery with your future wife. It's another to marry, and presumably engage in 14 years of sweet, sweet lovin', with your cousin.
Could it be that, in some regions of the country, this might actually be an asset? Make Rudy look more like the, ah, common man? Less like a northeastern moderate elite?
Anyway, the take home message remains: Rudy married his cousin. Pass it on!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Rest in Peace, James Brown

But not until M.C. Hammer boogies at your "funeral."